Tuesday, 8 November 2022

IT'S SHOWTIME...

It's my time to Shine, Slay, and Show Off... Like we say in Theatre - IT'S SHOWTIME... A bit late but I'm glad I accepted things before getting vanished into the thin air in this lifetime. The fear of not being able to live a life where I'm true to myself has crippled my senses for the longest time, and the worst part is - I never acknowledged it and myself, for the majority of my life. The onus of being a 'Gooooodd Girl' for my family has weighed too heavy on my chest for the longest time, but honestly, I never cared about being the good girl but more about the people I would hurt if I become the best version of who I'm.

It won't be wrong to say that I have a tiny bit of regret but my promise to myself is to shift the focus from the past and live one day at a time and the rest of my life on my terms. Good, bad, ugly - I want to own it, flaunt it, and never shy away from it. No camouflage, no pretense, no being good - just the raw, naked version of myself. And as I realize, it might have a cost attached to it. I feel vulnerable, volatile, and insecure but I'm still up for it.

I always thought it was my job to fix everything - relationships, situations, my family, and the list goes on. Today, when I sit back and wonder, I feel it was never meant to be my job. I'm not here to fix anything, and I can't fix anything for anyone. Noooo, I can't. I'm practicing saying 'NOOO' as that's another area where I majorly need to work upon. 

Let me accept - I'm No superwoman. I'm tired, worn out, restless, and hurt... but I still have a fire burning within. The desire to do so much more, be much more, over the top, and slay everything like a Queen. Never to look back, never to be tamed down, allow no one to take my shine away, no damn person or situation can have that power on me now... Nothing...   


 

Wednesday, 2 November 2022

Triund Trek - My first but definitely not the last

On Day 2 of my Dharamshala trip, I woke up and had the plan to go to Dal Lake with a solo traveller and a couple who had become my friends the night before. However, my heart was pulling me towards something I hadn't done before - trekking. It was an intuitive trip and I had promised to listen to my heart alone, so I quickly got ready and went to the Zostel reception to enquire. As luck had it, there was a guy who had booked a tour guide for Triund Trek the same day, and the reception guy suggested I join him. I had no qualms and immediately agreed to it. What followed next is something that will remain tucked in my heart forever. 


The trek began from Dharamkot with the three of us as a team - Ravinder (from Zostel), Nischal (our guide), and I - an overconfident girl who didn't bother to fetch any information about the trek before signing up for it. Ravinder turned out to be a regular trekker, and I knew the poor fellow will have to bear with an amateur trekker's tantrums on the way, however, I didn't fathom the magnitude of it. The three of us began the journey, and within the first two hours, I had no second thoughts that I had taken the most disastrous decision of my life. I felt out of breath every two minutes and seriously started contemplating going back. However, in either case, I had to trek, hence, I decided to rather go up, trusting my lungs won't give up on me midway. 

The two boys turned out to be my saviour, and I thank heaven I had them with me throughout. Post knowing that a first-time trekker is accompanying him on the trek, Ravinder, the sweetest guy I came across in the whole trip, had already stocked up enough chocolates, cookies, and water. With his previous experiences, he just knew I would need it on the way to make it through but won't carry it. He was bang on. The two boys kept it light and funny, making me the butt of a joke throughout (our joke will remain personal though 😏), held my hands tight, and literally, left no stone unturned to pull me through one of the most difficult tasks I had undertaken in my whole life. Within just a few hours, we three had become a unit... That is the beauty of human life - sometimes, you know people for years, and yet they appear strangers, on the other, you just form heart-to-heart bonds with people within no time. And I only trust my heart. It never misleads me. 



In between all the huffing and puffing, and my lungs fighting with me every two minutes threatening to give up, we halted at a few beautiful spots offering breathtaking views. Strangely, every time, we just lit one cigarette that the three of us shared. So, the bottom line is, "Sutta se pyaar badta hai".



Finally, after almost 4.5 hours, we reached Triund Peak, way before sunset. According to the boys, our timing was not bad at all, looking at how it started (Courtesy - the pro trekker who was accompanying them). Now, the most crucial question is - Was it worth all the pain I had made my lungs and legs endure?). YES, YESS, and a big YEEEESSSSSSS...



Looking straight into the eyes of the snowclad Dhauladhar ranges made it all worth it. And, this is where my words are going to fail me. The joy of being on top made me thoughtless and feather-light from within. A Zen-like state we all strive to achieve most of our lives, maybe this is exactly what it feels like. The next hour was dedicated to the sunset. As it was a solar eclipse, the Sun somehow felt even more special. Again, I felt the same thoughtlessness looking at the marvel of nature. 

As the Sun set, and the cold breeze took command, I quickly got inside my tent to put on all the extra layers I was carrying. the breeze made it a bit tough and I borrowed a jacket from the guy, who was our host and cook on the top. In the meanwhile, Nischal and one other guy went down to the forest to collect logs for the campfire. Next to join us as a special guest for the evening was our bottle of Rum - and this fellow was love at first sight for all of us. Campfire, chakhna (snacks), some good music, star gazing, and two amazing friends. What in life can be better? Maybe, more such nights on mountain tops.

By 10 pm, we finished our dinner and were inside our tents. Nischal, my cutest buddy and bro made sure I was warm enough with two sleeping bags and a blanket. The tent was pretty comfortable, however, sleep eluded me throughout the night, and thoughts eroded my mind. 

Post an event-free night, I was out of the tent by 6 am to soak in the cold air and witness Mr. Sun peep from behind the mountains. Filling our bellies with a bowl of soupy Maggi and a cup of tea, we were set to trek down the hills. 


This time around, my legs felt lifeless, and started quivering. Again, my knight without any shining armour, Nischal, held my hand tight, and said, "Main hoon na, aap kyun tension le rahe ho." He was right - with him and Ravinder around, there was nothing to worry about. We reached the base within three hours of trekking and had bread, egg omelet, and tea at Shiva Cafe, a popular spot amongst tourists. I was amazed, proud, and ecstatic that I had pulled it through.

I reached my Zostel room by 1.30 pm, got freshen up, packed my bag as I was leaving the same evening for home, and rested for a while. By 4 pm, I was up in the Zostel Cafe to grab lunch and pack something to eat at night during the bus journey. Ravinder, who also had to leave for Delhi the same evening, was in the cafe, too. We took the same cab for Dharamshala from where our buses would depart. 

Again, knowing the condition of my legs, this awesome guy pulled my luggage to the bus stand, saying, " Apko khich liya too yeh too aapka luggage hi hai." After chatting for some time, we bid adieu to each other with the promise to catch up soon in Dehradun, my temporary abode on Earth.

My bus arrived 2 hours later than the scheduled time but the rest of the ride was comfortable and I reached Dehradun by 7.30 am. My real knight again not in shining armour - my husband - was there to pick me up. Post a trip, people go back home, and I just go back to this man, I call my home. The only one who keeps me sane amidst all the insanity of the world, silently...