Left a piece of my heart in the mountains...

The heart doesn't know any calculations, it's always the mind. So, keeping the mind and its logic aside, I decided to follow my heart and it took me 5 minutes to book my Zostel dorm in Dharamshala. Never travelled solo, never stayed in a dorm, and never planned a trip so quickly... but that's how it is when you just flow with no holds barred. It was an overnight journey from Dehradun and I was in a place I knew no one and no one knew me. During check-in, I realised I have to share the dorm with 5 boys. Little apprehensive, I asked for a single room. However, post my interaction with a fellow solo traveller in the Zostel cafe, I decided to check into the dorm and I thank heaven for that. 

So, the same fellow solo traveller, who was checking out the same evening, offered to show the town around on foot. A doctor by profession, the guy talked about his profession as a urologist in such a candid manner, I couldn't help but laugh throughout. Never thought medical talks about life and death can also be humorous. In the meanwhile, he ended up sharing everything about his life, and love life (yeah! a fucked up one), and asked for my opinion (It's another thing that my relationship ideas are seemingly weird and don't really work in the conventional world), it was nice to know a stranger with no strings attached. I also ended up sharing a bit about my life, and we both cracked up a couple of times. 

We spent the whole day together and went to the Dalai Lama temple, the local market, Bhagsu Waterfall, a local monastery, a pub, and a café. It was nice to just walk the whole day as completely the opposite is what I do in routine. In between all the regular touristy things I did, I met a South Korean woman in the café who was travelling with her 8-year-old daughter. I just walked up to her
and the conversation that followed for the next 30 minutes was liberating. There was a lot in common between us, as women and mothers.

I came back to the Zostel by 6 pm and said bye to the doctor and wished him luck for his future adventures. As it was Diwali, and I was far away from home (Strangely, I didn't miss the mundane Diwali celebrations a bit), I gulped down a can of beer, scribbled something in the notepad, and by 7 pm, I was up in the open-roof Zostel Café surrounded by strangers wishing Happy Diwali to one another. At this point, I wanted to hug a few people who mean the world to me but I was in a different world, far away.

Sitting under the starlit sky, watching the lights in the far-off mountains with some fireworks on and off, there was a sense of calm within and my heart felt full. While I was enjoying the space, another solo traveller joined in and conversation flowed. Honestly, I was really not in the mood to talk to another stranger, so I spoke to him for some time and excused myself as quickly as I could. The overnight journey and whole day walk compelled me to call it a day as I felt exhausted. 

The next morning, I woke up and yet again, chose to follow my intuitions. And where it led me will remain etched in my heart forever. 

To be contd...     

  

The calm after a storm...

The lost vagabond has come back after a long time... and hopefully, this time around, I'll be able to continue the journey I had started a long time back. This particular blog, too, is also about a journey, an inner one - the calm after a storm. What I want to write about today is something I've craved for a long time and today, when I feel the calm within, even that craving seems blurred. How important it is to be 'emotionally available' for your partner in the journey of life that surely throws us off the road without any warning. Being 'emotionally available' for your partner is 'extremely vital' or should I say the most crucial part of a relationship. While falling into the trap of mundane life, it takes effort to nurture a relationship. And most of the time, when the craving for quality time, companionship, love, conversations, flirtatious glare, and lustful touch is loop-sided, the suffering of the one who is craving for all of these and more, eats up the person bit by bit, every day, every moment. 

The one mistake many of us do once in a committed relationship is taking it for granted and pausing every attempt to nurture the once most special part of one's life. It's like when we plant a sapling, we water it, give it fodder, take utmost care of it, and one fine day when it grows into a lush green tree, we stop paying any heed to it, as we assume that it doesn't require anything and can sustain on its own. And one fine day, there is a storm and before we realise, the tree gets uprooted, without a warning. A human being, no matter at what stage of his/her life, requires every bit of nurturing and love in abundance. Or else, one day it's bound to wither, without a warning.

So, today, as I've resumed the journey of self-love post a long hiatus, I promise to give myself all the nurturing I always sought outside. Today, I say sorry to myself whom I've ignored for the longest time. Let me tell you, "I love you". Thank you for bearing with me all this while when I was unavailable for you... you are the best and you should know it... Let's begin... all over again... the journey of a vagabond.